Geoff was ready to change coursebooks for the better. He just didn’t know exactly where to start. He sought advice from Siri.

‘Hey Siri’

‘Mmmm hmmm’

‘Find a list of the most common criticisms of ELT coursebooks’

‘You’ll have to unlock your iPhone first’

Geoff unlocked his iPhone and searched online. The results showed a list of coursebook critiques from a blog post entitled ‘I’d rather gouge my eyes out than use an ELT coursebook!’. It seemed a reliable source. The first item on the list read:

Coursebook methodology contradicts findings from SLA research.

The blog author seemed pretty convincing, so Geoff took them at their word. He reviewed his manuscripts with the aim of weeding out such contradictory methods. He found comprehensible input, input flooding and recycling across units, opportunities to negotiate meaning through interaction and other meaning-building tasks, noticing tasks, meaningful output, task-supported approaches, micro-listening skills development, lexical chunking, skills-based approaches to learning, text enhancement, the use of thematic vocabulary sets, and other things. ‘So, I guess none of this stuff is remotely evidence-informed!’ he concluded, and deleted it all.

The second item read:

Coursebook content erases identities and fails to adequately represent marginalized groups.

‘Okay, well I can definitely change that,’ said Geoff optimistically. He began by editing the content from Unit 1: My Family. Well, what was left of the unit content after all his deletions. He changed the (now not graded or enhanced) texts on family structures to include a broader range of identities – single-parent families, same-sex families, families without kids, etc. He began writing an artwork brief for one of the accompanying images:

[Image: A same-sex …

When he heard the faint sound of someone else frantically typing. He tried to continue writing his brief:

[Image: A same-sex cou…

The volume of the typing increased. It was now quite distracting. He tried again:

[Image: A same-sex couple…

The noise level increased even more, making it too hard for Geoff to focus. All of a sudden, the floor around Geoff’s desk cracked, and he plummeted 6.43 metres into a dungeon below. Geoff found himself in the middle of a dark cell edged with spikes. It was now clear where the noise was coming from, as two massive hands were tapping away at the stone keys on the dungeon floor.

‘OH NO!’ exclaimed Geoff, ‘It’s The Hands That Write Really Long And Ultimately Dismissive Comments!’

Both hands moved towards Geoff, typing away and mumbling.

‘We can see that you’re trying to be more inclusive here, Geoff,’ mumbled one hand as it tapped away, ‘which is admirable. However, given the target markets for this resource, we need to…’ the mumbling went on and on. Geoff swiped at the hands with his Sword of Pushback, but they just continued to add dismissive comments to his half-formed edits. One comment covered a whole sidebar of a page on Microsoft Word, jumping all the other comments down rather inconveniently. This was likely to make the whole review/editing process at Draft 2 a tad more confusing.

After hours of defending himself over one artwork brief, Geoff noticed a door. He made a dash for the exit. Bursting through the wooden frame, he expected to end up somewhere ambient, with plants and cold brew coffee, where he could continue his Draft 1. Alas! He was in another dungeon!

This dungeon was filled with water. A member of the publishing team was tied to a moving platform. The Leviathan of Constraints was sending fireballs in their direction.

‘That one’s from the Ministry of Education!’ shouted the Leviathan. ‘They’ll never endorse the book if you use any method other than PPP, which they feel is evidence-informed and offers the right level of support to teachers. Alternatives go in the Teacher’s Book’.

‘But that approach is just not…’ began the publisher

‘ALTERNATIVES IN THE TEACHER’S BOOK ONLY! Lead with PPP! Oh, and no images of same-sex couples – discretionary references only, if at all.’

The fireball smashed into the publisher, setting their hair alight.

‘Arrrrgh! Okay Okay!!!! Anything you say. Just MAKE IT STOP!’ wailed the publisher. They noticed Geoff had entered the dungeon.

‘Help me Geoff! You’re my only hope!’ screamed the publisher.

‘Me? Help you?!’ said an angered Geoff, ‘You started all this! You devised this linear, item by item, declarative-converts-to-procedural PPP-fest that we’ve had to follow for decades.’

‘We gave teachers and learners what they needed!’ squealed the publisher.

‘You told teachers and learners what they needed and marketed it well!’

‘That’s not true! We try and evolve! We really do! We are under so many constraints. Too many markets, too many demands, we are forced to sanitize the content and follow this methodology that is familiar. Other people hold the keys to unlocking that, Geoff. Not us. Not us if we actually want to remain competitive. Besides, we do training! We train the teachers to adapt our resources, to experiment with different approaches. To make content more inclusive. FIREBALL!’

Geoff took out the Sword of Pushback. He couldn’t believe what he was doing but… he started to defend the publisher. He batted back attacks from the Leviathan of Constraints, calmed the beast down, and engaged in dialogue to try and understand where these constraints were coming from. The Leviathan allowed Geoff and the publisher to leave the dungeon, on the condition that they would work within the constraints of the target market.

Geoff and the publisher walked up a set of steps and out onto the street. After fighting the Hands That Write Dismissive Comments and defending the publisher from the Leviathan of Constraints, Geoff could do with a break.

‘Drink?’ he said to the publisher.

‘Sure – I can claim it on our expenses’ replied the publisher.

Geoff and his new friend stumbled into the Publishers Arms. It was happy hour.

‘Two Complicity Cocktails’ ordered the publisher.

‘Cheers!’ The pair clinked their glasses. ‘You know, I didn’t catch your name…’ said Geoff.

‘McNugget.’ replied the publisher. ‘I’ve been working here so long that they named me Grandma McNugget!’

‘Tenuous,’ said Geoff.

The pair began their long chat about the industry – its failings, its challenges, and so on.

——

‘… so there are some concrete examples of evidence in favour of PPP, and of skills-based theories of SLA. That’s the type of stuff those anti-coursebook people don’t want you to know, huh? It doesn’t fit the narrative. And let’s face it, it’s the anti-coursebook narrative that gets you on stage at conferences these days, isn’t it…!’ concluded the publisher after a long discussion.

‘It’s just another brand, I guess,’ replied a sozzled Geoff.

The Complicity Cocktails were strong. So strong that Geoff had forgotten all about those sweeping changes he wanted to make to the book. He resubmitted Units 1-4 as is, complete with chessboxing, and moved on to Unit 5.

To be continued…

Credits

All stills taken from Soleil / Crusader of Centy (c) Sega/Nextech/Atlus

GIFs adapted from Shadowserg’s all bosses walkthrough here.

Categories: General, materials writing

Tags: conversations, Crusader, elt, materials writing, skill acquisition theory, SLA research, target markets